Saturday, May 10, 2014

April was national poetry month. Fact.

in light of April being national poetry month, I attempted to write a song each day of the month. I would like to think I succeeded, those most of the songs are fragments. It took me a few days of May to get them typed up, but that didn't violate the song-a-day stipulation. They all have music but it might be a little while to get all of these recorded... They are all autobiographical. Without apology, here are the 'lyrics' to every one of them. And pictures of Rose to distract :-)



Donnie Hicks - april sessions (29 similar songs and 1 that is different; 2014)

april 1
(i've got)
two tells -
   they're blinking
   and looking
im sure to be found out

(let's not)
speak about-
   us or of
   what we're thinking
lets talk about something else

like the weather

like the snow and the wind
and the boats comin in
with their mast and their sail
pulled by hurricane force gales

like the weather

(like the)
weather or not-
   i still miss you a lot
   like a fox its white coat
in the spring

(like a)
metaphor lost-
   on my literal talk
   conversation
dissected to bits

like the weight

like the concrete boots around
with the stones pullin down
and the scales overturned
and the lessons we've unlearned

like the weight

(like the)
wait for me -
   thought for
   another life walk

(like a)
cold turkey-
   stop on a late
   Calhoun walk of
an eight-year cigarette smoke addict

like the weather

----------

april 2

tracin the constellations
believing the stories they told
if the stars are a map to the future
that's why there seem to be so few roads

belief is a powerful drink
to take it you've got to have hope
faith without meaning or entropy
beyond 'all we'll ever do is grow old'

everything comes back around
like the light returns to your eyes
when i look in your heart
 (it's like lookin' in a mirror)
and i'm so sad that it feels just like mine

sometimes
it's irrepairable
sometimes
it's perpetual

but the one thing that's different
of this from bein' sad
is that happiness shared
is the only way to live............

your voice rang thru the rafters
and rattled down the walls
and rang in perfect harmony
and shattered both our hearts

we swept up the pieces
lazily one day
and put them back together
with  a modicum of tape

sometimes
it's unforgettable
sometimes
it's forever mutual

but the one thing that's different
of this from bein' sad
is that happiness shared
is the only way to live

but the one thing that's different
of this from bein' sad
is that happiness shared
is the only way to live

----------

april 3

slow down for a minute
keep your head up
hands out-
and go get it-
this is your stuff

slow down for a minute
keep your head up
hands out-
and go get it-
this is your stuff

we spent too long
   too far gone
where mouthes can't twist
   and work things out
but in this house
   we've moved on
that wrestle took
   a different form

slow down for a minute
keep your head up
hands out-
and go get it-
this is your stuff

im not gonna say it for you
when i'm called on to
im not gonna say it for you
like i
used to do

slow down for a minute
keep your head up
hands out-
and go get it-
this is your stuff

slow down for a minute
keep your head up
hands out-
and go get it-
this is your stuff

----------

april 4

my plan is to run until
i feel no inspiration
my side is pain on fire
mirrored by my desire
and need to get home
to get in deep enough
to leave no choice but
to go in deeper a plan
to only go halfway there
in order to get back
right
hope
my intentions are wrong
my priorities shifting
twisting
winding
i turn into wind
willingly wrong
both ways
but only halfway
in order to get back
right
hope
oops

----------

april 5

april fifth came and went
like the snowflakes above our bed
held up by the last nor'easter storm
held up my guitar case
with both your hands and a look on your face
told me you were tired of waitin' on warmth

don't give up now
don't give up yet
kiss the rosary around your neck
(the one you wore against your mother's wish)
dig your heels into the earth
hope their planted in some solid dirt
   should be easy
   no problem, right
famous last words

my rapid decline began
it left us on the roadside when
i thought 'everything's comin up me'
i filled up twelve Moleskin books
dressed my T's and boxed them up
and taped them to infinity

found out all my words the same
recycled rhymes and worn out phrases-
well i guess i was raised on bein' green
and i admit i loved her more
when her voice is flat my cries ignored
distracted by too much thought in my head

eyelid movie screens, please
sang so sweet that it scared me
-you are my sunshine
-my only sunshine
-you make me feel anything

spring crept in and like a lamb
but a crippled one, didn't stand a chance
ridden by some jerk in a cowboy hat
april fifth came and went
like the snowflakes above our bed
held up by the last nor'easter storm

held up my guitar case
with both your hands and the look on your face
told me you were tired of waiting on warmth
held up my guitar case
with both your hands and a sad sad look on your face
told me that you'd burn this thing for warmth

----------

april 6

i am the unforgiving sea
i am your stability
i am the desert's stifled song
i am the hope all along
if life's a game
and life is trust
but i always seem to rush
i am convergence of your thoughts-
and im a rifle shot

ive come to react before i think
(which is a problem cuz...)
my gun has come to rest on my hip

you are the dropoff at the beach
thirty six steps into sea
you're hurricane up in the sails
you're the cure to what ails
you're no hyperbole-
but you're the only thing i need
you're divergence that i've sought-
a tree forever branching stalk

you've come to bring us peace
your love has come to rest on me
you are you
and we are we
and that is how it was supposed to be

i am the melting snow you'll miss
i am your last and im your first
i am the mountain hum of Taos
i am the sailing stones aroused
im where you are and where you're from
when life is change and life is dust
i am your overfocused eyes-
and i'm no compromise

you are the welcome warmth we seek
and you solve the lies i weave
you are the dewdrops in the sun
and you're the west wind blowin' on
you are the half moon waxing full
and you're the harp that sings and knows
you are the soft seeking eyes
and you're no judgement when i cry

ive come to know true meaning of my loyalties
as just a selfish need not to displease
you've come to love and harness these shortcomings
to teach me to observe and let go of needs

you are the bridge over the tide
who always sparkles in my eyes
whose wind could blow and heal my heart
when i thought it was deformed
and it turns out
that it was only half as good alone

you've come to bring us peace
your love has come to rest on me
you are you
and we are we
and that is how it was supposed to be

----------

april 7
singing into a banjo to you

all of my angels are within reach
but i can't shake this weight from me
of twenty six hundred pounds pressed to my seat
their song sings me not to sleep

go now
if you must
to other worlds
go now
if you must
there are other worlds

both of my hands begin to see
the newly shaped landscape inside of me
this sterile community is a hospital bed
but i'm told 'it's a needed step'

go now
if you must
to other worlds
go now
if you must
there are other worlds

it's a hard night
and it's a long day
riding on the heels
of a complaint
give a reason
why i should stay
'you must
it gets better
i promise'

go now
if you must
to other worlds
go now
if you must
there are other worlds

----------

april 8

we took the road up to cripple creek
switchbacks thru a canyon eight miles east
we found the only shady spot
   between a cactus and a rock
pitched our tents and washed
the day's dirt from our feet

the full moon glow gave everything a homestick shine
and the afternoon's raindrops hadn't yet dried
the rattles you heard first
   thinking only makes it worse
i left the tent to find two hateful staring eyes

my friend
i still love you
but let's spend some time apart
this summer
friendship fling
we found eight weeks ago is gone
it was sweet
but only
at the start

our destination mutual to get away from us
so we loaded up the car for a reprieve
took our minds off from the seat
   at the Florissant Fossil Beds
held in time; hell on earth
we were the trees

my friend
i still love you
but let's spend some time apart
this summer
friendship fling
we found eight weeks ago is gone
it was sweet
but only
at the start

----------

----------

april 9

well i know im not a star but i can
change the sky with every thought
like how that cloud looks to lonely
change my mind and now it's not
and im hopin you don't notice
that my dreams are mostly skin-deep talk
but we're so intertwined we can't
love from needing what we've lost

i saw a beach on the horizon
where the sun laid down its head to sleep
i saw the ocean drink the sunset
and it didnt save a taste for me
and i hope there's still some left
for me underneath the Red Sea
but then needin' you was never
anything but just a reason to leave

i know that we are young
and my instincts are wrong
and my care's stuck too deep in stone
but for all my flaming flaws
i dont deserve your doubts at all

and i thought an ad-libbed verse for t his
to sing and wind down the clock
but before the notes emerged from me
across my teeth they all were lost
cuz somewhere inbetween my head
and mouth there's a paradox
in an excuses filled corridor
stacked ceiling overflowing box

there's a business with a purpose
in a city where nothing makes sense
and there's a heirarchy of order
but i don't know where i fit in
when the buildings dry and crumble
and the tide comes in to take a drink
ill pick the sand up later
build a new town and start over again

----------

april 10

it was raining cliches
     as we painted our names
on the backs of brick-yard buildings
and we knew we were't far
     from nowhere at all
but a gamble at uphill both ways

softer now
soft eyes
soft step
soft night
soft sought
soft swept

watcht the second stair
     (it screams)
keep your feet 'a
     (whispering)
cherish all the time
     before we're caught
hide be beneath
     with ease
to keep my shape in
      bed sheets
no one knows we're here
     but me and you

softer now
we owe it to ourselves
we're all the time
in the worldd

stand still
and we know no shape
outside of the shape
we built

----------

april 11

if i grew up
i aint never been much for lookin' ahead
outside my sphere of control nothin unplanned
sometimes i guess whats around the next bend
wrapped in sheets i fall asleep wonderin'

if i grew up
tho i am small
my future mistakes scare me now
there's a match that's not yet put out
  and an ocean burned down
the beach on its knees while it's laughin'
  a horrible sound
the fire put out my desire now is gone

if i grew up
i wouldnt need to joke and tease
but i love you cuz you're still here
so you must love me
and my best laid plans have all gone awry
things dont seem to change much
  why should i
if i grew up

--------

april 12

make music not war
make music not war
use the same four chords
use the same four chords

have faith
don't doubt it
put me down
makes me stronger

make music not war
make music not war
use the same four chords

im a rose in a windstorm
trust my feet to hold me down
test my teeth rip your arms
hold me under a rainbow
we can be each other's reward

make music not war
use the same four chords
make music not war
use the same four chords
make music
not war

--------

april 13

i dont ever never wanns use a faith i cant believe
when i was young my mother told me not to use my teeth
now im standin on a precipice and hangin by a nail
i guess ill ask for her forgiveness instead of if i may
you're a viral link i can't resist and click on with my eyes
im forgotten raincoats cant remember if i try
im a lesson takes too long for me to seep in
youre the patient pupil Aristotle chillin in the pew

----------

april fourteenth
im forever inspired by you in ways you can not imagine

a cloudy day
for every time i throw you shade
a release of rain
a generational crime repaid
-it's not that i take
but when you forgive with no complains
show me a way
without making me feel ashamed

its not that im cold
but these sheets are too old
they're worn thin by friction and angst
you warm me up
and i hope that's enough
fueled by addiction and thanks
an apartment so small
yeah
small as a shell
and tight like the sidestreets of Elm
dont give into taste
of the feeling of hate
pushed tight to your chest like a well

you've got to be strong
stronger than you thought you'd be
tho you'll be tired
there's always tomorrow
try to get sleep in between

the new quilt you sewed
like the Earth that we fold
kept our dreams occupied for a while

when summer came 'round
with no plants to be found
tho we searched thru the dirt like child

took to the sky
like a refugee flight
seeking a constant change cloud

but the belly fell out
and the wind took your blouse
now all of your trials are doubt

you've got to be strong
stronger than you thought you'd be
tho you'll be tired
there's always tomorrow
try to get sleep in between

now all of your trials are doubt

----------

april 15
halfway inspired

it's better with the light on
whatever else thought, tho, you can try on
you can keep your eyes off
if it's a deal, tho, we can sing song

i cant understand these flared in my brain
makin' me think, makin' me go insane
all of the people that we used to be
laid out as trinkets on a windowpane

it's better with the light on
whatever else thought, tho, you can try on
you can keep your eyes off
if it's a deal, tho, we can sing song

routines are pickin' up quick
it is what's makin' me sick
pictures framed of all our dreams
we aren't featured in a single thing

it's better with the light on
whatever else thought, tho, you can try on
you can keep your eyes off
if it's a deal, tho, we can sing song

----------

april 16

your soft footsteps dodged the grass blades
smell held from beyond the last rain
underneath
your feet swung from above the trees, made
the breeze swift to reveal the bare twig
interweaved
your plan spoke we abundant solitude
a sea spanned from the sun to the moon
we perceived
you said, too, that 'we must be alone
from the cradle to the bulk of
what we confront

like we arent new
no no no
but we arent new
no no no'
you said
like it was less than humble

it took us ten days to reach ya
phone calls from beyond the need to
speak to you
we just need one thing i told ya
not to be alone without ourselves
critiqued

we watchted the whole town 'round us
blend in to the flame and darkness
on the beach
we leaned our hip on railing fence
sparked like waiting innocence of
coming sleep

like we'd been cheated from our hearts
no no no
but we aren't new
no no no
we aren't new
no no no
like we'd been cheated from our hearts
no no no
but we aren't new
no no no
we aren't new
no no no
you said
like it was less than humble

----------

----------
april 17

when we gonna cross that street?
ill hold your hand its not for you but for me
im still learnin this so cut me some slack
i forgive you your things will you forgive me that

you said 'we're well matched'
i said 'dont cling to that'
another town another road perhaps
'if being well matched'
you said, if in fact
'is not a facet that we posess'

when we gonna cross that street?
ill hold your hand its not for you but for me
im still learnin this so cut me some slack
i forgive you your things will you forgive me that

felt like forces
we hadn't got the timing yet
reasons to say yes
were few and far and deep and wide
i said 'if the facts
are not a backup that we require'

when we gonna cross that street?
ill hold your hand its not for you but for me
im still learnin this so cut me some slack
i forgive you your things will you forgive me that

----------

april 18
5 am

i woke up with inspiration in my head
i woke up with inspiration in my head
like the last few drops of sweetness lingering
i woke up with inspiration in my head
i woke up with inspiration in my head
like the last time i bought flowers for you
i woke up with inspiration in my head
or at the very least intented to
i woke up with inpiration in my head

woke up with half an idea in my arms
to beat the rain we could dig up the back yard
planted several discarded apple cores
needed none but expected more

i woke up with inspiration in my head
i woke up with inspiration in my head
with nowhere to put it
no pen in reach
convinced it's not good enough
or 'it'll stay in memory'
i woke up with inspiration in my head
with nowhere to put it
no pen in reach
convinced it's not good enough
or it'll stay in memory
i woke up with inspiration in my head
and went promptly back to sleep

---------

april 19

i made it more magical in my mind
more than stars and tide had aligned

little flower
grow real tall
little flower
feel so small
little flower
if you want to

im watching the rain pour water rise
im watching the businesses abide

i guess i made it more magical in my mind

-------

april 20

i used to hear the mountains hum
that was back 'fore i was young
i miss the carefree steps of youth
all that's analyzed is reduced
all that's analyzed is reduced

the tide keeps comin in
now we're too boats at sea
tomorrow we will be
only if we're hopefully
blue

we used to dance before we knew
what we're dancing was supposed to be
i feel like i homeless poem
words been written without intent
worse been written without intent

the tide keeps comin in
now we're too boats at sea
tomorrow we will be
only if we're hopefully
blue

the tide keeps comin in
now we're too boats at sea
tomorrow we will be
only if we're hopefully
blue

i used to hear the mountains hum
that was back 'fore i was young
maybe i'm still in transition's grip
but i've been feelin' pretty damn stagnant
i'm an overanalyzed fragment
all that's overanalyzed is lost
i'm an overanalyzed fragment
all that's overanalyzed is lost

----------

april 21

there's a lot more traffic on this side
tho that's not something i've just realized
we were happier in the West End
let's go back
and learn to build bridges again

i built bridges in a former life
could hold up much that's prolly why i died
fell beneath the weight of merely six or seven guys
i feel ike i deserve a second try
i feel feel like i need a second try

took up well drillin as a means to make a buck
twelve thousand feet and all my tools stuck
left my bucket down the hole and ran from that job
but i feel like i deserve a third try
i feel like i need a third try

----------

april 22

i dreamt a
chimney to the heavens
and my blood as Epinephrine
a staircase to the weather
and my clocks tucked in the cellar

kept the time
     time
          time
     time
          time
     time

a beach down
the street keeps
the ocean back
or more like
the whisky that
lines my glass
when this chemical
is not my fault
but my youth
and my accidental
childish doubt

that the time
     time
         time
     time
         time
     time

i dreamt a
paycheck to adulthood
and less to figure out good
a job instead of no class
and my countdown to my last

summertime
     time
          time
     time
          time
     time

---------

april 23

i would like to
put my
pen to paper
and have meaning fall out

i would like to
wrap my
head around it
and be washed of my doubt

but instead im
screaming into
and yelling
at this page

i would like to
post a
question to you
and the answer in my hand

but it's your life
and your decision
but it's
killing me
it's tearing me
in two
in three
pieces of
it's making me a fool
please spare me from
deciphering your
youth
it's you
it's yours
a negotiable truth

place the
pitter patterns
in the
folds within our seams
i know the
answer but
can't resist so
im yelling in here
screaming at
this page of
needing to
know what i already do

but it's your life
and your decision
but it's
killing me
it's tearing me
in two
in three
pieces of
it's making me a fool
please spare me from
deciphering your
youth
it's you
it's yours
a negotiable truth

----------

april 24

what do you do
when you were asked to kill
to crush a dream
by telling the truth
would you walk away
with a smile on your face
wipe him of his
with another ounce of hate

integrity if
measured easily
do you love your friends
passive aggressively

when would you lie to her?
when should i lie to her?
to save a fece
or a thousand years of hurt

we were maudlin tears
a modest harlequin
an honest tale
of a storied sincere

we were a moment
in a photograph
but we were real and they were
a charletan trap

ooo..

---------

april 25

i feel like i'm southbound
(1, 2, 1, 2)
to a front range mountain town
and when i look behind me
my footprints on the ground

i feel like im flyin
talking to the clouds
but when i listen closely
snowflakes make no sound

i feel like im anxious
for the season up ahead
cuz what if i cant stand it
ill flee til spring again

----------

april 26

im a tunnel (without light)
but im the only one (who can see inside)
every action and it's response is well rehearsed
and all of the things in my sphere of control they are a curse

diagrams and murals cover my walls (but as i mentioned before...)
im the only one who can see them at all
every context and it's outcome is predetermined
and all of my outliers i set myself a burnin'

then you (sometimes seem blind)
how can you possibly miss those blatant signs
you reply 'ive felt the same of you for quite some time'
how can you never see what's around you' (see what's around you)

you're cut and run
     i'm work things thru
i'm the needle and the thread
     you only seek to undo
you're a big bang
     i'm a molecule
but without you
a tunnel would have to do

i couldnt focus (in the thick of a crowd day fright)
squinted my eyes (to feel at home in the light)
so i switched to camera (focus, speed, aperture)
but with the same narrow gaze thru a tube (i failed to capture her)

you're cut and run
     i'm work things thru
i'm the needle and the thread
     you only seek to undo
you're a big bang
     i'm a molecule
but without you
a tunnel would have to do

let's be together
     a reaction and its resultant
let's indistinguish
     my start from yours concordant

you're cut and run
     i'm work things thru
i'm the needle and the thread
     you only seek to undo
you're a big bang
     i'm a molecule
but without you
a tunnel would have to do

----------

april 27

the train tracks keep comin' and im almost out of steam
roundin the next bend to a station it seems
i lost my old route map so i dont know if this stop
is just a refueling or the Twilight's Last Gleam

window panes fogged up from the breath of the dead
we left the last station to a tunnel ahead
it doesn't look good but this crowd is all still
do i trust the conductor or jump off instead

the train tracks are risin' and i'm pert-near out of steam
roundin' the last bend to a mountain upstream
i lost my new route map so i dont know if this stop
is just a refueling or the Twilight's Last Gleam

this narrow gauge railway is improbably small
and the twisting route we take seems likely to fall
each quiver and quake of the rail 'neath our feet
seems an eternity our fates unresolved

the train tracks are fallin' no need for more steam
rounding a hairpin to an abyss of serene
i lost my old route map so i dont know if this stop
is just a refueling or is Twilight's Last Gleam

reach out the windows burn my hands on the rocks
a sign says 'look out' but no one's thinkin 'stop'
the dead seem content without conscious or fear
i move around the bones kick pennies that have been dropped

the train tracks keep goin' and im all out of steam
roundin the last bend to a station it seems
i lost my old route map so i dont know if this stop
is just a refueling or is Twilight's Last Gleam

my sister is pressed to the seat next to mine
the only thing wider than the doubt is her eyes
i try to reassure her tho it's ready we're already late
my screams unreturned through a fate we advised

the train tracks don't end and im all out of steam
roundin yet another bend to a station it seems
i lost my old route map so i dont know if this one
is just a refueling or as Twilight's Last Gleam

----------

april 28

we learned to gamble like we learned to live
i wouldn't ask you to fill my cup if i were any good
from innocent no consequence if we lose or win
to all cards on the table with everything all in

still holding back tho i drink like a shark
you didnt ask for my love to fill up your heart
from hundred cent stores to the age of real hurt
you were content with your book of words

pushed you thru walls on accident
my way to hope with this a horrendous laugh
a decade-thick door closed your face to me unknown
and a mile-thick case of poems kept your thoughts your own

how long is normal
for me to wait
for forgiveness
and the old me to abate
cuz ill wait

the streets we walked and know have changed
a brand new bright streetlight to keep them 'safe'
and the place we passed leaves in the fall it seems
has been covered is silent and paved

our neighbor's  house one day burned down
with a sigh and two exposion sounds
and our parents were placed where they needed for repairs
not so invincible but indivisibly there

how long is normal
for me to wait
for forgiveness
and the old me to abate
cuz ill wait

i got a token of truce from the girl who can't be moved
a train ticket expired months ago but cut into
a fold out paper doll chain painted as an egg timer
with sand falling from her hand and tickling into her heart earned

how long is normal
for me to wait
for forgiveness
and the old me to abate
cuz ill wait

----------

april 29

we were just one gorgeous sunny Friday morning
away from driving out of here
we were the clipped wings healed but flyin' too early

we were a mile long stretch of red road lights changin
for us
runnin to or from
leavin an I.O.U. note
for them on the coffee hot plate
consider ourselves
we could be great
or we could be sane
and run away

we were t he sharp stones falling from cracked boulders
away but not far from the stone
we were a feather spit from wings in danger
we are the slow lane windows down arms tanning from sun
lighting on us now
leaving and i dont care note
in our backseat window
inconsiderate youth
but at least we know
that we need none
but me and you

----------

april 30

side swept hair and plastic rimmed glasses
you know the things that pull my strings
i can't grow beards but i do wear flannel
and promise to eat only sustainably

no pinot noir just a P.B.R.
or some microbrewed I.P.A.
dreamin about becomin' like Holden Caulfield
too bad he was just some phone cliche

so many things we ought to talk about
thriftin, vintage, wilderness, organic, chic,
so long as we can really recsognize
that hey,
we're all somebodies freak

you're against even your own counter-culture
singing on a soap box with a kazoo
takin' a break only for designer cupcakes
to wash away the 4/4 key of G songwriter blues

cultivatin' those beets and that image
must take a big effortless chunk of your day
you're a self-marginalized overly reightous kinda fella
screamin from his pedastle that 'we're all the same'

so many things we ought to talk about
thriftin, vintage, wilderness, organic, chic,
so long as we can really recognize
that hey,
we're all somebodies freak

i liked this before you were born, i swear
before your distressed skinny jeans were in the store
hey im just kiddin' and it's no even blasphemy
just cloaked in six or seven shades of irony

so many things we ought to talk about
thriftin, vintage, wilderness, organic, chic,
so long as we can really recognize
that hey,
we're all somebodies freak

----------

Thanks :-)