Wednesday, January 16, 2013

One year later...

Today is the one-year anniversary of my moving back to Knoxville.

I am more than happy, and that seems enough: read on if you want to hear an ounce of expounding.

Slightly longer than a year ago, my family and I decided that the right thing to do would be to go back to Knoxville and finish my thesis. I draw a great deal of comfort and solace from the fact that, a year later, I know that I made the right decision and then some. I suspect those that love me will also be glad to hear this.
While I have not finished my thesis just yet, I am busy writing and intending on finishing sometime in April. "There will be water if God wills it." I am very thankful that the school has been able to support me in taking the non-standard, but not-uncommon three years to finish my M.S. degree. Having taken 2011 "off" on medical leave of absence, it looks like four years on paper. "What it looks like" is likely a whole lot less important than What It Is. What it is, what it is.

Compiling a "highlights reel" of any period of time is a dangerous feat, considering the potential of leaving and/or forgetting some of or all the most important things. This highlights to need to remain impartial, considerate, and ambiguous. I will attempt to use Bob Hatcher's apros pois advice to me earlier this year and "try my best." I've always thought trying one's best is so much more than "all you can do," considering how tempting and likely it is to do a whole lot less than one's best.

The past year has helped to solidify the takeaway message of 2011: people are frustrating sometimes, but everything at the end of the day. In 2012, I met a whole people who have changed my life, strengthened relationships I hadn't understood the meaning and importance of, and lost some things. My net gain of love has been immensely positive and that is enough for me. I've recently tried to stop wishing. I have attempted, with some success, to see the situations and people I have as enough. Rather than to wish for more time, more sunshine, or less pain, we try to see the hurt, to spend the time, and to have a healthy degree of fear for rain.

Liz and I struggling to be OK at Williams Creek Campground. I didn't finish the race, but at least I got my feet in some snow.

I hope to finish my thesis in the next few months. I think I can (chugga chugga choo choo). If I don't in the next few months, it won't be a failure. I will succeed. Arno Ilgner taught me how to succeed as long as I try my best, or at least pert near my best.

Angelyn got to take -the- MN picture.

What if I spend all day working,
Come home to a sea of words
A floatsam of art and books
Balance a checkbook of self-worth
No novel can fill the whole but half
A space for two
(for me
  and you)

Thank you all for sending me so much love. Don't stop just yet. I promise to reciprocate.


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